Hello Tallies and Curlies,
There’s something I need to say.
You see I run a blog, and when you run a blog you don’t know who is following you. I send my comics out in the world and some people read them, hidden behind their computer or iPad’s screens.
I have people following my blog from all over the world, different people, different languages, different cultures, different religions, different beliefs… I find it amazing.
I sometimes get comments from people who have a completely different vision of the world than I have, and I think it’s awesome to have the opportunity to speak with these people. I wouldn’t get that opportunity if I didn’t have this blog.
As I’m a person of curiosity and observation, I love to meet people who think differently than I do, who’ve been raised differently, who live differently, I find magic in difference and even in disagreement. That’s what life is all about, walking along the path and stopping at as many crossroads as possible, where we discover new paths, new people, new ideas, and even if we won’t follow all of them, just getting to know them is one of this life’s most beautiful adventure.
Inevitably I will, once in a while, get a comment I strongly disagree with, just like I will meet people in real life I strongly disagree with. I usually put these persons in one of these four categories :
1- smart person who has a different point of view than mine and who thinks differently, who maybe knows things I don’t know > interesting, calm and courteous conversation or debate that will maybe broaden my or his/her vision. These people don’t piss me off, I like them a lot. They’re the ones who can teach me something.
2- teenager whose brain is not even finished yet so might change his/her mind later. Might not. > generally pointless to start a conversation, teenagers are passionate and think they got it all figured out. I should know, I’ve been there and I certainly wouldn’t like to try to convince the younger version of myself of ANYTHING. I’d actually rather die. Teenagers don’t piss me off, I understand who and where they are.
3- stubborn and narrow-minded adult who decided to shut his/her mind to everything he/she disagrees with. That kind of adult might piss me off for a minute or two but I don’t have time to lose so I move on and forget about it in a minute or two.
4- adult with a very fragile sense of humor or none at all, who takes him/herself or some things too seriously in life, so when it comes to some matters he/she suddenly goes blind to everything else but his/her beliefs and sees evil in places where there is none and tells YOU you’re evil. > so THIS is the kind of adult who pisses me off for real, and I got my very first comment of one today.
So on Pinterest, I posted yesterday my first comic of the “True stories” series : the story of Chekwube, a tall lady who wrote to me that when she was in high school she was very good at sports so kids started gossiping about her being a transvestite because of her height and talents, and that in the end everybody believed it.
I decided to create the “True stories” series so that people who are not aware of what things a tall or curly girl can hear sometimes and how it feels like can learn about it so either they don’t say these kind of things or they can even stand up for someone who’s dealing with these kind of things. It’s of course also a great opportunity to again downplay our problems and to again laugh at ourselves all together. I run a comics blog, so I’m not going to create sad dramatic things about it, my weapon is and will always be humor.
So I woke up very early this morning and was about to go on with my day, optimistic, enthusiastic and happy, when I saw on Pinterest the comment of this woman whose Pinterest’s profile states : “pro trans, pro GLB, pro gun control, pro choice, left leaning idealist.” and who left that comment under my comic : “Wow, way to throw vulnerable trans women under the bus for the sake of a joke. unfollowed.”
As I told her as an answer, I apparently was also ready to throw vulnerable kids who failed a grade three times under the bus for the sake of a joke.
So what I want to say to that person today is this : I run a blog where I’ve been promoting self love and acceptance through humor for over a year now. I never heard a straight haired girl tell me I’m being cruel with the straight haired girls community because I try to promote curly hair, and trying to show tall girls like myself how lucky they are doesn’t seem to make average size or short people feel bad or threatened or insulted by me. Running a blog called TALL and CURLY doesn’t make me a short and straight haired people hater.
Then.
I one day decide to ask my followers to tell me their stories so they get the chance to tell it through my comics too.
A few days ago, I posted a comic where an old man asks me – as it happened in real life – if I was a man or a woman.
One thing that hurts when you’re a tall girl let me tell you, is when someone questions your femininity. That hurts BADLY.
When I read Chekwube’s story I remembered a long time ago I was in a gay club with some friends and a drag queen – yes a drag queen – came up to me and started flirting with me. No joke. In a way it was funny, but how do you think I felt like having a man thinking I was a man too ? If I make a comic about that will it mean that I have no respect for drag queens ? I don’t think so. It REALLY HAPPENED.
So as I could really imagine how hurt Chekwube must have been when she was called a transvestite by an entire school, and as it happened to her and to me, I’m pretty sure it didn’t happened to only us, so I chose to tell her story in a comic so somewhere some tall girl can relate and feel less alone.
Does that make me a person who doesn’t like or have no respect for transvestites or trans women ? I don’t think so.
In a movie, does having a straight character believed to be gay by another one for whatever reason makes the movie director someone who has no respect for gay people ? I don’t think so.
I grew up feeling DIFFERENT and I had to learn to LOVE and ACCEPT being DIFFERENT. It was a battle and a battle so tough to win I just wish anyone who feels different and alone can find some comfort in some of my comics. That’s what most of the messages I get say : “Thank you for making me feel ok with being different.” I’m in a race for happiness and I believe everybody is, and I believe everybody deserves to find happiness. EVERYBODY.
But one thing I’ve learned from fighting in order to love myself is that you CANNOT TAKE YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY IN LIFE. That is exactly what leads people to feel threatened, to be scared, to be frustrated, to feel like they’re always a VICTIM.
If you’re able to laugh at yourself, you won’t mind that much when other people laugh at you. And believe it or not : YOU ARE FUNNY IN SOME WAY. EVERYBODY IS. Everybody is or has something that somebody else will laugh at, there’s nothing you can do about it but to embrace who you are and to laugh too.
I live my life according to the three L’s principle : LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH.
If you knew me, you’d know that there is room for EVERYBODY in my heart and in my life. But there’s no room in my life for people who are not thankful for the gift of life, there’s no room in my life for people who don’t put love first and there’s no room in my life for people who don’t know how to laugh because in life, if you’re not laughing, you’re yelling, and if you’re not yelling, you’re crying.
Life is hard for everyone, and everyone must choose a weapon to fight.
Some will choose none and won’t fight, wandering in their lives like drifting boats. Some will choose coldness so nothing can hurt them. Some will choose fear so they can avoid everything. Some will choose tears and live a life of sadness and wallow in self-pity, while some will choose anger and will find reasons to be angry everywhere and all the time.
I CHOSE LOVE AND LAUGHTER. So if you’re not able to see BOTH in my comics, I agree with you you shouldn’t be reading it and thank you for unfollowing.
Tall N Curly
And here‘s a video I love, of a beautiful person who knows that : difference + humor = great match. π
Get it, girl.
Life’s too short to take yourself or anyone else too seriously.
One hopes that she, claiming to be as open-minded as she seems, would read this answer, understand and not believe you are the kind of person who would use someone of a different lifestyle for the sake of a joke. There’s a huge difference between using a kind of person for the butt of a joke and writing from something that has actually happened. Keep doin’ what you do, you do nothing but good for all π
THANK YOU for getting it and thank you so much for your kind words ! π
I think the only way to get through life, regardless of where you are on the appearance/height/personality scale, is to not take things too seriously and to not be afraid to laugh. But it’s also more important if you don’t fit the stereotype or the “norm.” I’m just tall enough to be considered “tall” and just barely curly enough for my hair to exhibit frizzy tendencies and to turn into a triangle/ball (depending on the cut) if I brush it. So I can’t necessarily relate to everything, but I appreciate the energy you radiate through your comics. Keep being your positive, happy self, because laughter is contagious π
Hi Lauren ! Thank you for your message π
It feels good to know some people do get the energy I try to put in my comics π
Take good care of you tallish n curlyish friend π
Hi TallnCurly! I follow you for a while now, but this is the first time I leave a comment.
I live in Barcelona, I’m not tall, not curly, just a bit of a ginger, but I love your blog.
Perhaps, the reason I like it most is that you are brave and smart enough to laugh about yourself.
I completely agree with your words, we shouldn’t take ourselves too seriously, never. When we accept who and how we are, we can no longer feel as a victim and we can love ourselves.
Iβm always the first to make jokes about myself and laugh, because is a healthy way to accept who I am.
I have a tall and curly friend and I think she rocks, nobody can wear a pair of long boots as her ο and I have a drag queen friend too and, wellβ¦ he rocks in kinky boots too.
You carry on with your amazing blog, your humor and your curls, the truly beauty is been the best version of your true self.
Hi Monica !
Thank you so much ! π
I love knowing I have some non tall-non curly followers, I guess it tells me my comics go beyond these two matters !
YES laughing is HEALTHY. Healthy minds in a healthy life. I’m happy we agree and really glad you finally decided to reach out π
You did absolutely NOTHING wrong. I understand how you feel completely and I also understand that hateful comments can hurt. We run a blog about the funny side to our marriage and still get crazy comments from people who just can’t see the positive side of anything. Please keep running the series, the vast majority of us love your work!
Thank you very much aNija! π I’m definitely gonna check out your blog TODAY π
I found nothing wrong with the Tale of Chekwube. I’m not tall, and I’m definitely not curly any more, but I am a transwoman, and I know those things that were said of her have been said by others from time to time. It does hurt to hear them, as I’m sure it hurt Chekwube, and you learn to put those comments behind you and move forward.
It is unfortunate that people *love* to point out “The Different”. That attitude is slowly going away, but there are tons of tales we who are Different have of those times. And the best thing to do is treat it with love and laughter, and not dwell on how it made you feel at the time. I has taken me a long time to let go of the past, because I was stuck there, being consumed by the things I’d heard and felt. I look back now and think, “Yeah, that was pretty nasty, but then there was that woman I knew at college who was 6′ 4″, and we had some wonderful times.” (That last is true, by the way.)
I do enough crying on my own, so I’ll take the love and laughter whenever possible. It’s far better to live in the light than shiver in the darkness any time–and this is one of those places that brings me into the light and leaves me with a smile when I’ve gone.
Wow !!! Thank you ! π <3 I couldn't wish for any better comment today !
Well this is amazing… A girl just told me on my facebook it is understandable that transgender people feel like they need to protect themselves, and I do agree as few other people will stand up for them. But what I answered is that "being a transwoman – if that woman is one herself – doesn't forbid her to think twice or at least to just speak her mind calmly, rather than just accusing me of being cruel and to manifest her disapointment by unfollowing me. Shutting doors and windows before even thinking or speaking is no good, even – and maybe especially – for people who are just trying to protect themselves.At least that's what I think."
“this is one of those places that brings me into the light and leaves me with a smile when Iβve gone.” This is one of the most beautiful things I’ve read and thank you so much for that. And I’m so happy that we think alike… when two people with such different lives agree on something, it must be because there’s some truth hiding in it π
We’re agreeing so well because we’re both going out to see “Jupiter Ascending” this summer. π Though I don’t think I’ll wear a pink wig: I’m no where near as brave as Lana Wachowski. Though it would be fun to do.
AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA π π π LOVE YOU AND GO LANA !!! π
You should color your hair pink and then describe how it went. π
Remember that as a creative person we’re suppose to take chances, to push ourselves, and sometimes others aren’t going to see the same images or hear the same words as we. I’ve had people tell me they don’t care for my stories because of things I’ve said in them, or things I’ve done to characters, and I just nod and go on doing as I want, because those are the stories I want to write.
Keep bringing the smiles. It’s one of the reasons we keep reading.
Well you know what, I might look for a curly pink wig and try it ! That could be a fun experiment π But you have to wear a pink wig too !
Look at us, thinking we’re being original, I’m sure we’ll arrive at the premiere with 100 other pink haired people lol
π http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crHHycz7T_c
You did nothing wrong. You told someone else’s real life story via a comic. Personally, I didn’t find that one funny just because it is real (just because its in comic format doesn’t mean its supposed to be funny). If anything that person should be upset with those people who feel its okay to insult others by calling them transvestites as if being a transvestite is something wrong. But its their personal decision to feel the way they did and unfollow you. You know you and you know what point you were trying to get across with that comic. Which could be different from what I stated above. I hope that person on Pinterest didn’t upset you too much and I hope the rest of your day goes better from now on.
You are absolutely right about this comic and about why I did it. And I agree, it was not “funny” as in a “hahaha” kind of way. I really wanted to make a point. The thing I like about comics is that you can make a point without being over dramatic.
Thank you for your message Lashette and don’t worry I’m fine now π I really needed to speak my mind about this, now that I did there’s no reason for me not to have a beautiful and awesome day ! I hope you’ll have one too π
amazing! IΒ΄m not sure if I like more of your sense of humor or your ability to transform other people feelings in a clear, funny and wonderful words/comics =)
a huge thanks for the great blog you have
Thank you so much Catarina :))) You’re very sweet π
+1000
If you are a bit different the only way to get through life is to laugh about it and come to love yourself and those who can laugh along with you. I’m not a curly, but I *am* a tall and a magnet for strange looks and comments. It wasn’t much fun as a teen, but I’ve learned to laugh and even get those who make dumb comments without thinking to laugh. And now days I even do things before the comments come to make people smile. Tall is a blessing in disguise. It has made me a stronger and maybe even a nicer person.
Sharing these stories is great for everybody. You are doing a fine thing with your talent:-)
Thank you so much for this Jheri π
Beautiful
Thank you π