Tall N Curly™

I draw comics about being a tall girl with curly hair to show girls who think they're too tall and girls who wished they had straight hair why they need to free themselves and how to love themselves just how they are :) I also speak about random women and life matters, as well as music, beauty and health. Welcome ! ;)

Every girl is born with a brain

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I found it really interesting and funny to read some of the comments people made ​​about my last comic 30 years of little girls learning dance moves from music videos  around the web, especially on Tumblr, which is known to be a social network used by young or very young people.

First, there were people who could relate to the comic, those – mostly with kids – who felt concerned by the thing, and those who laughed.

Then there were those who summarized my comic by saying “I think it’s funny to see all the parents powerless in the comic when they’re supposed to be the ones in control” and “how did that little girl made these knots anyway, terrible parenting” and “so it was all Shakira ‘s fault right” because the turning point of my comic takes place in 2001 with Shakira. (Believe me when I say I do not think Shakira is the worst example for our girls, far from it. I actually like Shakira a lot.) But this is a comic people, a comic summerizes things. Illustrates things.
And then there were those saying that my comic was too alarmist, putting forward the fact that in the 80s and 90s as well there were singers who showed everything and had sexually explicit attitudes, and that it has always been the parents’ responsability to monitor what their children watch on TV anyway, that people have been complaining about raunchy music since the very beginning of music so that there was nothing new nor smart in my comic. Ouch.

What I found even more interesting is that most of the people who expressed these opinions – I did not say all, I said most, didn’t check them all one by one – were young or very young persons, 15 years old, 16, 19, 20. Like if they were offended that someone would criticize the time they live in. Just like we were offended when our parents and grandparents said “In my time things were different/better.” Am I that old ? Maybe. :)

It reminded me that history repeats itself, again and again. We can only see through our own eyes and teens born in the late 90s or later cannot really conceive the world as it was before their birth, just like people like me, born or raised in the 80s, could not conceive the world of their parents, and our parents before us and so on.

So yes, the point of view of the comic is mine, a person who grew up in the 80′s. A person who also thinks that only because some things were said before doesn’t mean that what is said now is not true. A person who were once a teenager too who also thought she had it all figured out. And also a person of my time, who happens to not think that being of my time means I have to agree to everything that is going on in my time. Where would change come from if everybody agreed to everything?

Rihanna in "Pour it up"

Rihanna in “Pour it up”

Therefore what I will say is addressed to you, today’s young people, who think that seeing mainstream female singers showing their beautiful asses in their music videos is nothing new, to you who think that seeing young women in bikinis shaking their asses in pools next to a male singer or rapper everyday has no effect on you nor on society, to you who see nothing wrong seeing child stars taking a 180 degrees turn, going from the cute little girl with pigtails to the young hottie in a g-string, and especially to you who think that the Internet, laptops and smartphones have always existed.

I’ll start by answering those who said there’s always been sexually explicit music videos, even in the 80s and the 90s, that Lil ‘Kim was there at the same time as TLC, Adina Howard too, and that Janet Jackson also made sexually explicit videos where she was half naked and that she is and I quote “the freakiest of freaks”.
My answer is very simple : that is not true. Not in the way you mean it.

Yes, there was sexuality in music videos before. Not as much as there is today, but there was some. I never said there wasn’t. Again, my comic was made to make a point, so it summarizes. I wasn’t writing a movie or a book, it’s a comic.
Yes Janet Jackson suddenly started to talk about sex in an outrageous way but if you look at my comic closely, you’ll see I picked two songs from the time when she didn’t. And yes singers like Lil’Kim did contribute to the introduction to what was going to happen next. Is that an excuse to let it go further and further and worse and out of control ?

urlI also think it is important to differentiate between a mainstream international big star singer and another one.
When Lil’Kim released Hard Core in 1996, along with her music videos, she was not mainstream. Every little girl in the US and around the world was not listening to Lil’Kim, she was not a role model, she was not THE singer every little girl wanted to be and was trying to emulate her every move.

Again, the problem in my opinion is that the singers we see today half naked, shaking their naked asses, dancing in their underpants showing their crotch, are mainstream artists we see everywhere on TV and magazines and hear all day long on the radio. They’re the ones who serve as models for little girls today. Little girls today simply cannot escape from them. Even though this girl wrote somewhere it’s the parents responsability to choose the music their children are listening too. Oh you mean like our grandparents managed to keep our parents away from Elvis and the Beatles ?

Christina+Aguilera+-+Genie+In+A+Bottle+-+5%22+CD+SINGLE-144515Millions of little girls loved Christina Aguilera – who came out of Disney let’s not forget that – who became famous thanks to Genie in a bottle, a video in which she wore hideous wide orange pants and was almost candidly looking at the camera. She became mainstream. Her fans weren’t much older when three years later, the same Christina, who had meanwhile become Britney’s first rival, appeared in panties, spreading her legs wide and showing her butt in Dirrty. The same young fans, who loved her when she was cute and girly, were still watching.

If Lil Kim shocked in her time, it’s because no one did what she did by then. What she did was different. New. Weird. It was not the NORM. It was not mainstream.

Dirrty-christina-aguilera-22810182-459-459Today, the music industry wants everyone to think that it’s normal for a female singer to show her ass, her crotch, her tongue or to publicly rub her ass against a male singer’s genitals on a show that is known to be watched by millions of teens in the US. They also want us to think it’s normal for female singers to sing songs in which they call themselves and other women “bitches”, and when I read a young girl say “there always was sexuality in music”, I know they have succeeded. But sweetheart, I can remember a time when there was no connection between singing and stripping. And FYI, there are still today some singers who just sing. YES. Singing with no stripping. Some even write some amazingly empowering lyrics.

A little bit of history. The parents of my generation are from what is called the sexual revolution. From the 60s to the late 70s, the face of the Western world changed. Emancipation of women, birth control and right to abortion. Minds were changing. Women had decided they would be the equals of men. They had been fighting for that. They no longer wanted this patriarchal society. They no longer wanted to be “own” by men. They wanted to be free, to be respected, to work, to earn money, to own businesses. Don’t you find strange that the further we get away from these times, the more women go back to being objectified ? The more men are allowed to objectify women again ? Don’t be fooled. If men are allowed and even encouraged to objectify women they see on TV, what do you think they will do in real life with women they meet ?

madonna_open_your_heart_extended_version_1986_the80smanLet’s go back to our parents. Most of our parents did not see music as a danger to morality. They let their parents think that if they wanted to. The only thing bothering our parents wasn’t the music we were listening to, it was how loud we listened to it. Besides that, most of us could listen to whatever we wanted. I can’t remember one little classmate telling me ” My parents do not want me to listen to Madonna”, when, let’s face it, she was one of the most sexualized singers we had at that time. And although some parents didn’t want to hear rap music well… some kids must have been listening to it anyway as it’s now one of the biggest sellers.

We also were living in a time when everything was more controlled and monitored.
Although “absolute freedom” has always been teens first fantasy – I’ve been there – and that you – the youngest – might feel sorry for those of us who didn’t have access to everything through the internet, you will have to grow up to realize that there are pros and cons to everything in life and that in a way we were lucky to not being able to see whatever we wanted.

If parents said ” No, you’re not gonna watch “A Nightmare on Elm Street 3″, you’ll have nightmares.” we simply couldn’t watch it. And if we tried to see it on a VHS at a friend’s place, we were doing so having heart palpitations, hoping our parents wouldn’t find us there. We knew we were watching something we were not allowed to watch, something that was not for children.
If the censorship in 92 said : “No you are not gonna see Madonna’s new music video Erotica, it’s too sexually explicit.” we couldn’t see it and that was it. At that time we couldn’t secretly get on our laptop or our father’s computer to watch it. Wasn’t on TV ? Didn’t see it.

Today, kids own smartphones, ipads, TVs, laptops or computers at a very young age. If they don’t own one, their big sister do. Internet is everywhere, and parental control is not effective enough for my friend’s 8yo NOT to come across last Rihanna’s video, “Pour it up”. With the internet and all its devices, it all got out of control, not to mention that sex is all over the place now, in music videos, song lyrics, movies, commercials, magazines, and of course on the internet… It all got out of control for the parents. For the music industry and all the other industries connected to it, it simply all got easier to do what they wanted to do.

A study shows that each year, 14,000 sexual references are shown on television only. Little girls’ minds have no filtering tools and no firewalls against that. Of course parents must monitor what their children are watching, but again, this is everywhere, everyday and all the time. Parents can’t follow and watch their kids 24/7.
In the 80s and the 90s, they trusted the censorship to help them protect their children’s minds. Now they’re on their own, trying to fight TV, radio and the internet all at the same time. That’s impossible.

Another girl said that parents should request more of what they wanted their kids to listen to. Yes. Agreed. But do you ever take responsibility for yourself ? Being young doesn’t forbid you to think and then to act for your own interest you know. Like some people decide to eat healthy food instead of eating fast food for their own good, you are free to decide to listen to some more inspiring music. There is a lot of music out there besides what you hear on the radio. Who could tell how all of this happened ? Did the media forced us into this ? Didn’t women accepted it and dive into it ? The chicken or the egg ? That simply doesn’t matter. What matters is that individuals decide to change their own habits. “I’m starting with the man in the mirror / I’m asking him to change his ways / And no message could have been clearer / If you wanna make the world a better place” – Michael Jackson.

wod2Some of you try to reassure themselves saying that none of this affects you.
All I can say is that when my friend’s 10yo daughter asked her mom to buy her a thong, my friend almost fainted. When another friend’s 4yo daughter started slapping her own butt in front of everyone at a family reunion, she too almost lost it.
You may think it’s nothing or funny, because you see the world from behind your own eyes and that this is the only version of the world you know and that you see it through your young age, but still being so close to childhood you don’t understand that there is a time for everything and that there is a time for childhood, that childhood is sacred, short and that when it’s gone it never comes back. You’re just too much in a hurry to grow up to understand this yet and it’s perfectly normal.

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Tesco’s Toy stripper pole

Childhood needs protection, it’s a time for freedom, frivolity, a time when young minds are shaped to become tomorrow’s great minds. You have to let children be children.

Today’s little girls have not yet finished to construct their own identities that they are already looking for a boyfriend, to then feel depreciated when they don’t find one. Then they feel dumb if they don’t speak about sex or don’t dress in a sexy way and they feel retarded if they don’t have sex in mind by the age of 13. Meanwhile, in stores, they sell child size thongs, child size padded bras, child size high heels, Playboy-branded stationery for teenage girls and toy stripper poles. Yeah. Your read me right.

66806On one hand, women have always been taught that what people think of them defines them. They must be beautiful, thin, dressed in a certain way. They need to know how to be sexy and how to seduce. On the other hand, little girls have always been looking for female role models to imitate, to relate to. With sex taking over movies, music videos, magazines, commercials and songs lyrics,what today’s little girls are learning is that their worth is determined by their sex appeal, nothing else.

The thing is, nature knows best, so young girls are not naturally interested in sex before a certain age. What does this lead to ? A huge gap between young girls’ actual minds and what they think they should be doing or being because of what they see or are being told. This is one of the sources of girls and women’s biggest issue of all times : low self-esteem.

A Canadian study shows that the more a girl lacks of self-confidence, the more she is likely to accept or suffer sexual advances. Whether to please, to feel accepted, to be part of the gang or to not be left out, she accepts. And the vicious circle never ends : boys receive sex signals from girls everywhere on TV and are looking for the same in real life, inspired by their models, girls send sex signals to boys who see girls as sex objects who behave as sex objects to please the boys and so on. And there is the end of childhood.

That’s what happens when looks matter more than personality. Girls have always been caring and will always care about what other people think, especially what men think. But we’re all born different so we can’t all look like what we see on TV (thank God). This leads to having complexes. This leads to unhappy little girls who will become unhappy women.

But while every girl is not born a supermodel or a knockout, every girl is born with a brain, and every brain can be fed with good things, leaving no empty space to be filled with crap. If the singers we see everywhere everyday made lyrics and videos encouraging girls and women to be proud and strong, to love themselves, to educate themselves, to respect themselves, to have ambition and to demand respect from others, to love and respect life, to be optimistic, instead of talking about sex or suicide, or instead of calling other women bitches and hoes, things would be different.

Some singers are trying to send positive and strong messages, you’ve heard them. Maybe. They don’t have half the budget and the means singers like Rihanna or Lady Gaga have. That’s not the messages the music industry and the industries connected to it want you to hear. They want to sell a lot, and they know what sells today. And as whoever shouts the loudest wins, you’re more likely to hear Rihanna talking about S&M sex and suicide like in Russian Roulette everywhere than anything else.

In the end, everything is connected. The music industry is connected to the media industry which is connected to the fashion industry which is connected to the cosmetic industry and so on. They know very well that having sexualized girls shown on TV, they will sell more albums to men and to teenagers. They know very well that having girls and women look up to role models who are obsessed with their looks and sex appeal, they will sell more clothes, more shoes, more cosmetics, more cosmetic surgery, more botox, more more more… starting with always younger girls all around the world.

These are some of the reasons why today, international mainstream music female superstars are the ones we see jiggling and slapping their naked or almost naked asses in the music videos and I’m sorry young ladies but no, this is not normal.

57 Discussions on
“Every girl is born with a brain”
  • Hey tallncurly,
    I just found your site the other day, and i love it. I’m curly as well, though quite short. I like your way of thinking as well. i’m a 22 year old, muslim woman. The more i see whats happening in the world today, the more i understand the wisdom in my religion. Alot of people think islam limits women, but living as a muslim woman the real way islam says, i feel sometimes at a higher level than men. Islam tells women to wear hijab (i’m sure you know what that is, but if you don’t it is the cover a muslim woman wears, not only to cover her head but to dress modestly not showing the shape of her body as much as possible), because in a world with hijab, would these issues that you have mentioned in your post ever come up? if every woman would dress modestly, no one (or at lest much less) would feel bad for not having a sexy body, no four year old girl would ever want to wear a thong! just as the media is doing what you say, trying to make it normal for women to act so low, it tries to make a bad image of islam (a religion that would actually prevent this). it shows muslims as terrorists, when islam is one of the most peaceful religions. If you slap someone, and their skin turns pink, you have to pay them for that injury! (ofcourse, no one would ever ask anyone for that money, but that is the ruling). a religion where even to kill an animal, you have to give it utmost respect, first giving the animal water. if an animal is killed without first being fed water, eating the meat of that animal is not allowed. How could such a religion be as violent as the media today shows?
    you start to see connections to things after a while. the things that the media in the west shows today, they are trying to keep people so busy with their personal lives, so stuck in thinking about being skinny, being beautiful, being sexy, even having sex that they just don’t have time to think about anything more important! they are so lost in themselves that they don’t see the world and whats going on, they can’t tell right from wrong anymore.
    sorry for talking so much, i have so much more to say, but i would have to write for days to say everything thats on my mind. and as a muslim, i ask you not to see the actions of individual muslims, and decide what islam is, based on them.
    Love,
    your muslim fan
    sorry if there are any typos or errors in my text its 12:30 am and i’m dead tired!

    • Hi Fatimah !

      Thank you for your message ! :)

      What you’re talking about is quite touchy because you’re raising issues that feed passions on every sides of the world, so not wanting to see my comics and humor blog become an open forum for more or less enlightened minds and more or less well-intentioned ones, I will try to answer you without leaving too much room for ambiguity but also without creating or encouraging any debate as once again my blog is not made ​​for that.

      Please first note that you preach a converted when speaking about the amalgam the media make between terrorists and Muslims. There are extremists in every religion, and although some Christians and Jews have committed terrible acts in the name of their religion, the shortcut between them and the millions of Christians and Jews around the world is never made as quickly and dangerously.
      I am also fully aware of the role media have in all that. I have in mind the example of a Zack Snyder movie, “Dawn of the dead”, which is a – terrible – zombies movie, where the first image they show to an almost subliminal level, right at the beginning of a montage showing bloodthirsty zombies eating people and killing each other, is a simple image of Muslims praying. Replace this with a ceremony in a church or in a synagogue and in my opinion, someone will definitely see a problem there.

      Now, I can’t agree with you when you say “in a world of hijab, would these issues would even come up?”

      I’m not muslim, but I do believe in God, and I believe God created women in the same way He created men and with the same idea in mind : to create a being who knows, understands, and fight for her happiness and for her freedom.
      I personnally don’t know a muslim woman who wears the hijab but I do know a couple of older muslim women who did fight all their life to have the right to not wear it. It didn’t mean they wanted to act naughty or have a more sexual attitude. It was all about freedom.

      What I think is that men and women were created equal, so they have the same and equal rights and chances to be happy and to be free, therefore they both should have the right to live in peace and respect with and within bodies that were God given and God made.

      There’s a big gap between the problem I depict in my 30 years of little girls dancing cartoons and a “world of hijab” as you said.

      I’ve never thought women should be afraid or ashamed of their bodies and of their beauty. I think God created the most perfect creature when He created woman, and I think a woman should be proud of every single part of her body, that she should love every single part of her body, and that’s why I also believe she should respect every single part of her body and not act like she doesn’t give a damn about it and that it has no value in her own eyes.
      I don’t think women of influence like the ones we see on TV and everywhere else should send a message like the one they’re sending as because of them millions of other women will actually be deprived of their free will, having grown up in a world where that message of raunchiness and sexual outrage is the rule.

      I also think that if a proud woman is walking down the street, aware of her beauty and letting it shine in the world with a clear and conscious mind, and that a man comes by and is so aroused he doesn’t know what to do with himself anymore, I think it’s the man who needs to deal with it, not the woman who should hide just to be sure she doesn’t wake any of the man’s sexual urge. God gave us bodies, but He gave us a conscience and will too, so a man should be able to control himself.

      The problem with “a word of hijab” is that there would be only one option : hijab. In a world of freedom, you have the right to wear what you wish, depending on your religion or personality. Saying this has nothing to do with Islam, but it has everything to do with freedom, which is truly my main religion. :)

    • i’ll just answer short, don’t want to ruin your blog. wearing hijab outside doesn’t mean a muslim woman doesn’t care for her body. i don’t know a muslim woman who doesn’t care for her body. and when the time comes, she can be just as sexy as any other woman, if not sexier. but every thing has a time and place. you shouldn’t need to be sexy in the street, rather in front of your husband. if every person would try to correct their own actions, rather than expecting others to correct theirs, the world would be a better place. and islam actually has a dress code for men too. and the fact is women and men are different. that doesn’t mean either of them are lower or higher than the other. hope i didn’t disturb your blog :)

    • sorry, I just couldn’t help myself, but I just wanted to point out a few things. I didn’t see where tallncury said muslim women that wear hijabs didn’t care for their bodies, maybe I missed it. what I saw her say was that women should love themselves and the bodies they were created in, and not feel afraid because of their beauty. I agree that everything has a time and place and you shouldn’t need to be sexy in the street. but then again, and I understand you grew up with a different religion, what we consider to be sexy are probably very different. are jeans, a t-shirt, hair tied, and no make-up also sexy? the majority of men aren’t so perverted to get turned on from the mere sight of a women in casual clothes. they might think she looks pretty. and that’s fine. I don’t see what’s wrong with others seeing how pretty you are. there’s no danger. wanting to look pretty and wanting to look sexy are different. hijabs can look very pretty. personally, I sometimes don’t see the difference between it and hair. the ones with patterns can look even prettier than hair.

      if everyone would try to correct their own actions, rather that expecting others to correct theirs the world would be better. I completely agree with that, too. but are you referring to men getting aroused when you say that? isn’t that blaming the victim? there was no error so there’s no correction to be made. also, rape is hardly ever caused by arousal, but by the rapist’s wanting to dominate. it’s talked about in many studies.

      from my understanding the dress code for the men are not as strict as the women’s. yes, women and men are different, but that difference isn’t a reason for women to be lower in status to the dominant male.

      sorry if that came out offensive and sorry tallncurly for continuing the debate. I just. couldn’t. control myself. I won’t be making any follow up posts. for my last words, I just wanted to say about the 16-20 year olds that represented my age group and made those comments to you about sexuality in videos… I felt embarrassed. no offense to my generation. some of us can figure out that for there to be a cycle of complaints about the sexuality in music videos throughout the generations means that the sexuality keeps increasing, creating new shock factors. I didn’t even know must of the facts you shared and I was able to figure that one out. I even wrote a short essay about it after wrecking ball.

    • Hi Yahya :)

      Thank you very much for this comment. Like you, reading Fatimah’s second message, I just couldn’t control myself and wrote a long answer saying basically everything that you just said, but I finally decided not to post it and to put my brain in a bowl of ice instead. ;)

      Your comment is not offensive at all and I’m glad somebody else took over to speak my mind so well.

      And about the comments some young people said about the 30 years of little girls (…) comic, don’t fell embarassed ! Every generation has its own vision of the world, and as someone wrote in in an article I’ve read that was talking about the same matter : “Our generation and those younger than us have always been swimming in the waters of objectification and sexualization to the point that they don’t realize when they are soaking wet.”
      It would be pointless to try sending out a message about something I know everybody agrees on wouldn’t it ;)

      On one of the websites that reposted it, it was shared something like 40 000 times, and that website had stats about the likes and unlikes allowing me to see that over 70% of the feedback was actually positive, so I was very happy to see much more good comments and messages than anything else, even from young people of your generation, as I could sit back in my chair and realize this world is still full of hope and light after all ;)

      Take good care of yourself Yahya and thanks again ;)

  • It’s really disgusting what the world is coming to. My husband and I were talking about this the other day. A rap song from the 90′s came on Pandora, and I was singing the radio edit. I was so shocked to actually hear the uncensored version. It was the first time I had heard it, and it was so vulgar! I felt so sheltered! My parents never allowed me to listen to uncensored music. I was a HUGE Eminem fan and was so pissed that they made me buy the edited version of his album! With internet now, I can imagine it would be impossible to keep ANYTHING from your child. But when I was growing up, if mom and dad said no, it usually meant no. And that was good because mom and dad usually know best.
    It frightens me how hard it is becoming to preserve a child’s innocence. You can raise your child with the best values, but I feel like your contribution is so small when you send your child out into a world that is telling them the exact opposite of what you’ve taught them. Worse when they have to mingle with the children who have parents that don’t care and don’t monitor their activities. It truly makes my uterus clench in fear.

  • Fantastic post!! I have written a post called ‘more sex please?’ But actually after reading this I think it should be called ‘Better sex please!’ We shouldn’t be ashamed of our sexuality but in mainstream media sex is so seedy, and almost mysoginst… Somehow I hope I can help raise my daughter to value herself and others but its tough because all the ‘role models’ are poor to say the least….sex needs some more respect & romance & beauty about it!! Thanks for the thoughts…. Xx

    • Thank you !!! :)
      “sex needs some more respect & romance & beauty about it” YES !!!
      As long as she got you as a mom, your girl will be doing just fine ;) Will definitely check out your post !

  • I’m 18 and there was a lot of hidden feelings within my heart that was just spoken out across this screen. Honestly, I feel so old-fashioned when I tell my roommates that I’m not sleeping with my boyfriend and they bring it out as if it is a problem. Does the media have something to do with that? Probably. But I can definitely say the effects of what the media and mainstream produce affects our society strongly. Where conservativeness or taking a slower approach to the sex lane is wrong. Or not ‘in’ anymore. Thank you for this post made me feel less crazy.

  • Reblogged this on The Joy of Ordinary Days and commented:
    I just had to applaud the writer of this, I saw the comic that started all of this and I found myself agreeing with it. It’s disturbing to me that half naked women are now considered the norm in music, and that my generation doesn’t seem shocked by it. I love music, and I love the power that it has, but when little girls are asking for thongs and slapping their butts, it means that the power that be, and some parents are failing this generation. I think that we owe it to ourselves to not settle for things that objectify women, and causes little girls to think that it’s okay to parade around half naked in order to gain attention.

  • I was one of the commentators here on your blog who mentioned that certain artists were very sexual back in the 80s as well. I was born in the 80s and I appreciated both the comic and this blog post. And I agree completely. I honestly made the comment that I did because of others comments that I saw. Personally, I feel that people, especially on the internet, tend to blame large groups rather than take individual responsibility. When I say large groups I mean, the man, the machine, celebrities, the government, the media, company owners, marketing, etc. We are a people; a groups of individuals and as individuals we decide what is normal or not; what is okay or not. And then it just becomes the majority rule. But that does not negate the individual. My point is that looking forward from the 80s it might not look so good because somewhere along the line the majority rule decided that certain things were okay. If you(individuals in general) want that to change, more individuals need to make that change. Not just notice the difference and comment on it. As someone born in the early 80s I’ve seen less and less of the parenting I grew up with and more people upset that censorship has gone downhill, that our family values are nonexistent and that our children are raising themselves. In my opinion, if we really wanted to stop these “bad” things from happening we would have.

    I have no idea why this philosophical comment came out but I see your points both here and in the comic, enjoyed both, agree with 90% and see things slightly differently on others; not necessarily disagree. Keep it coming.

    • I just want to add two things. 1) I find it interesting that teenagers and 20-year-old’s were the ones mostly saying things like why are the parents not doing anything.My thoughts maybe that generation feels and/or sees a lack of parenting that we do not. I know growing up with decent parents made me notice how either overbearing and controlling or neglectful a lot of my peers parents were and are.

      2) I cannot believe I did not say this the first time but I absolutely love the family mixes. Its so very rare to see mixed race families anywhere. And the variety in the family cultures makes your point about these artists being mainstream and their affects being mainstream as well.

    • 1) I don’t know if that generation feels it, but the comments I’ve read meant more that I should have drawn parents who talk with theirs kids instead of just standing there watching them, not understanding for a second it was a comic that just tried to make a point.

      2) Well thank you for noticing :) I come from a mixed family and I just feel like it was one of my biggest blessings in life, so yeah, I thought it was nice to put it in the comic. :)

    • Hey Lashette :)

      First, please note that you do have the right to disagree with everything I’ve said. Even 100%. I just speak my mind here. This is my blog, so these are my thoughts and my thoughts only. Everyone has the right to disagree with me as I have the right to disagree with everyone ;)

      Then, also note that I didn’t write this post because of you especially. Like, at all. You did mention Janet Jackson but your comment didn’t come even close to what I’ve read on Tumblr from young kids.

      You say you have no idea why this philosophical comment came out.
      When I draw a comic, I share something of my life, of me, of my thoughts. That may come out in a funny way, but the true meaning behind it is always close to the values I believe in. The comic “30 years of little girls…” speaks of one of my biggest concerns in life, which is protection of childhood. When I read what I’ve read, I just needed to write this because the fact that I’m drawing comics doesn’t mean that I’m not a very concerned and serious person when it comes to certain matters.
      That’s the great thing about owning a blog that some people read : you can share your thoughts with somebody else than yourself, your friends, family or dog.

      Then, I agree with you 100% when you say individuals need to make that change. That’s what I wrote in my post.
      Drawing the comic was not only a way to put the blame on the media and the singers and the showbusiness. I absolutely blame them all that’s for sure, but you cannot blame a society you live in without blaming yourself as you’re part of it, so you must have participated to the whole thing in a way or another. Drawing the comic was just like ringing a little bell. Look people, look at what is going on before your eyes, look what you’re maybe letting happen too, and then, if you’re a warrior and trying to change things, just laugh at it. Comics have more than one level of reading. And I don’t feel like I just comment on things. I believe writing and drawing things, sharing my thoughts in front of everybody like I do it on my blog is making a stand in a way.

      So as you can see, I, as an individual, am trying to do something, even if it seems small or insignificant because it’s only comics. The only thing that matters is that you try to share your truth in a way or another. You can find mine in my comics and in my articles, but again, it’s nothing more than my own truth. :)

  • BRAVO!!!! Thank you, first for making the comic that you did and thank you so much for this commentary after! I looked at your comic and loved it but didn’t leave a comment after seeing many of the comments that were being posted. My eye started twitching and I have a habit on paper(or laptop) to say some things so it was best to just leave it alone. I am a child of the 80′s also and it was WAY different then.(Never thought I’d be saying that..dang I feel old!) You can’t walk down the street, turn on a tv, pick up a magazine without sex thrown in your face. Children are sponges and whatever they see they soak up. You can shelter your child all you want but once they come of an age that they have to leave out your home to go to school, it’s a wrap. From classmates influence, just walking down the street and seeing billboards, to going to a store to buy candy, they are going to see numerous images in that little amount of time.

    We have placed so much on body image of a female that if you don’t show skin folks think something is wrong with you! A woman’s body in society is of no value anymore. When I walk thru stores and the only reason I know I am in the little girls section of a store is because the sizes are so small, not because it looks like clothing a child should be wearing, it’s a problem. When little girls know how to apply make up better than me, it’s a problem. When little girls in front of cameras don’t do fun posing but try to strike a provocative or “grown” pose, it’s a problem.

    How did it become so common to let someone call you out your name and think of it as an endearment? I am 34 years old and you know what, I don’t want any kids. Why, when I love kids and have always worked with them in some capacity? Because I can not see bringing my child up in the world the way it is. I commend all of the parents who do, but I just can’t. Children are so precious and we as a society are really failing them.

    Thanks again for doing this. Hopefully it will make some folks sit back and think. Blessings!

    • Hello Diedra :)

      “We have placed so much on body image of a female that if you don’t show skin folks think something is wrong with you!” That’s exactly what I’m saying. Little girls and teenagers often don’t have the strength to trust what they feel is right, so they just go with the flow and do whatever they think is expected from them. That’s why it’s so easy to play with their minds and society take advantage from this more and more. It has always worked with women, women have been brainswashed for decades by the media, taught they needed to be perfect, skinny, sexy and so on. How can someone think all of this doesn’t affect little and young girls ? It’s beyond me.

      Anyway thank you for your comment and for taking the time to read Diedra ! Best ! :)

    • I understand and agree with the comic and article, but really have to disagree with this:
      “You can shelter your child all you want but once they come of an age that they have to leave out your home to go to school, it’s a wrap. ” You are not helpless as a parent. I am 19 (have two sisters 21 and 16) and parents can make a difference and protect the kid from a lot of the outside influence. We occasionally watched movies, watched the Olympics and figure skating, but that was the only time the TV was on. We did other things as a family and were largely sheltered from this and taught well enough/high sense of self worth that we could recognize and reject the outside influences. It probably takes more effort, but it is possible. My older sister didn’t start dating/wearing makeup until she was 16, my younger sister started wearing makeup this year and hasn’t dated yet, and for all of us self image problems from media is not an issue- not that we are exposed to much of it.

      Guess what I am trying to say is you can make a difference and aren’t helpless in the face of society, maybe you still don’t want to do it and that’s fine, just had to put this out there.

    • actually could you remove the comment I just wrote, it was said poorly and might come across wrong,
      Thanks

    • Well…

      1) your comment is anonymous so I think you don’t risk much ;)

      2) I actually disagree with you now, and agreed 100% with what you’ve said in that comment, so I would rather leave it there if you don’t mind. :)
      Optimism and positivity and hope are clearly things we all need and your message if full of it. :)

      I would just add this : Diedra I believe was, just like I did in my comic, speaking of the very little girls of today. Being a 19yo today means you were 5 in 94. You sister was 5 in 97. That’s NOT the same as being 5 now. The internet was not as big back then, sex wasn’t all over the place as much as it is today back then. I think there’s a difference.
      And I’m very happy that for you and your sisters self image problems from media is not an issue, but if you look around you’ll probably see that millions of women are concerned by self image problems due to media, no matter how old they are.

      But YES, definitely YES some parents do have the time and strength to be even more present and kids who have those parents are lucky. The thing is some parents just can’t or won’t do it. Many different reasons to many different lives.

  • Thank You! my Dear for this blog! You spoke tons of truth. i pray that God continues to use you to be an inspiration to the many who enjoy your blog everyday. i wish that there were a way that i could email you. i receive your blog by email and have liked you on the book. i would love to help out some kind of way. Do you have an editor??

    • Thank you so much for these kind words and for offering your help, this is so sweet ! :) There’s actually a link to my email on my about page, you can write me here >> tallncurly@rocketmail.com
      and to answer your question no I don’t have an editor, I’m on my own. It’s only me and my lil comics ;)

  • I can’t even believe you had to explain your last post to ANYONE. I really think those criticizing you were either incredibly lacking in self awareness or just plain….
    Well anyway. Thank you either way for taking the time to educate those who clearly needed it. Your last strip was BRILLIANT. I think all your strips are brilliant but this one in particular really made me your fan for life.
    I grew up in the 80′s and 90′s and have NEVER been more disgusted with current music trends like I am now. There’s something VERY VERY WRONG when women are referring to themselves as bit&hes and ho’s. The feminists of old didn’t fight for this. We need to seriously sit down and re-evaluate.
    p.s. – I wasn’t allowed to sing that “let’s talk about s-e-” song when I was a kid. and you’re right. Back then, what you weren’t allowed to do was pretty much that. Parents could have more control because technology didn’t take it out of their hands. I really feel sorry for parents of today. They don’t have a fighting chance

    • I totally agree with you naijawife! I grew up in the 89s/90s too & certainly agree with your perspective.

      And I’m definitely a fan for life too, tallncurly!

    • Thank you very much for your message Naija :) (what a beautiful name !)

      As I said we know it’s hard for a teenager to see through someone else’s eyes, especially if that someone is older. We’ve all ben there :)

      I just think it’s sad when someone is shortsighted and self-concerned, no matter how old that person is, and not able to see someone else could be affected by something.

      If they didn’t feel concerned by the comic because they’ve had great parents to teach them, I couldn’t be happier ! But I deliberately chose to draw very young girls in my comic because they are the most vulnerable, and as things have never been worse than now, danger is real. Also because for any kind of reason, some kids don’t have the parents they need. Too bad they couldn’t understand that.

      Then I wouldn’t say that parents today don’t have a chance. If we start thinking like that, we’d rather all die now don’t you think ? ;)
      No, I think some parents are doing well and will save the day. Meanwhile children whom parents are not doing so well – again, for any kind of reason – are the ones who need help, so they too can have a chance to save the day ;)

  • You are not only a brilliant illustrator, but an incredible, intelligent, and wonderful woman. We don’t need to meet in person for me to be able to know what a great human being you are. What you are doing with this blog is just outstanding.

    • Wow… Thank you so much for these words…! They’re so heartwarming :) I just try my best to share what I had the chance to receive in life through some amazing people. :) Thank you so much Alex :)

  • KUDOS!!! I read the comic about the music over decades & LOVED it. It was a TRUE depiction of how videos have evolved. Your response to it was well put as well.

  • Being 20, and growing up loving Christina and Britney.. I was taught to know that the things they were doing or saying was not something I needed to replicate. My mother taught me from a young age that I can watch what I want, sing what I want (I’ve always had 2 left feet so dancing wasn’t my thing) but I needed to know that I didn’t have to impress anyone with my body or anything. She taught me I had worth and it didn’t come in a physical form.. I do feel that a lot of people miss THAT step. I still find things shocking, and can even look back and shake my head at things I enjoyed from the past. It’s part of growing up! We all grow up differently depending on our generation, but just like any previous generation.. not all of us are going to be wild thugs and whores.. I do feel parenting has a major role in what level people even have a general interest in these sexual things. I hwve never seen Rihannas video, but also I am not a fan of her work… but anyway.. I just feel that you should praise the kids out there that DO use their brains, and praise the parents of these level headed kids a bit more.. just some thoughts

    • Hey Courtney :)

      I agree with everything that you’ve said, and I thank God that there are still and will always be some parents out there who know how to keep their children away from harm, and that there are kids who do know how to use their brains.

      I NEVER said ANYWHERE that all of the young girls living today will become whores. I don’t know where you got that from.

      As I said in my post, this was adressed to a specific audience : some young persons who have shared their thoughts on the web about the comic I drew a few days ago and others who would think the way they do, and who don’t seem to find anything wrong in what is going on right now.

      We do all grow differently depending on our generation and each and every generation has its share of problems. That’s why some people from older generations – like me for instance – feel the need and have the right to try to help in a way. That’s how the world works.

      What I wrote is of no use to someone like you, who had a mother to teach her well. Some others don’t have your luck. So maybe one and only one teenager will read my article and will change something, but it will be huge and will mean everything to me. That’s the only reason why I wrote it. :)

  • I will be 45 next month…old in some people’s eyes. I was 15 when “Like a Virgin” was released and 18 during “Pleasure Principle” and 26 when Lil’ Kim came out with the Junior Mafia in ’95. I have seen the role of women artists change dratically over the years. As you succinctly wrote, Lil Kim was an anomaly and the shock factor partly lead to her success. If you look on the YT before ’95 women in videos(artists and dancers) were more covered. Since then its increasingly becoming the norm to see women barely clad. Now for young girls who have not grown up in a world where they see anything different this now is the new normal. As an elementary educator I have seen the effects this has had on little girls who have act more sexualized than they did 20 yrs ago. Most people can’t see this but, I applaud your article highlighting this serious issue.

    • All true ! Being an elementary educator you definitely must see everything that’s going on… Walking in the street is enough already to see how different young girls behave today, but from your point of view it must be something. How are the boys in elementary ? I’m curious.

    • One recent incident involved my first grade class who were taking swimming lessons at a local pool. On the first day I had some boys of oogling the girls and making comments amonst themselves. I was shocked, but, I definitely addressed the issue. I have heard of incidents with older students at my school that did not occur 20 yrs ago. Unfortunately today’s kids are inundated with highly sexualized messages in music, both radio and video. Its getting harder to shield kids from these messages.

  • great response to a much needed WAKE UP article. many of us are sleeping on the fact that the things we see on tv, and listen to on the radio CHANGE how we act and what we believe is normal…. THANKs for the insight!

  • You’re completely right we grew in a different time with different levels of exposure. And you know I don’t think we were sheltered (before someone claims we were) I think we were allowed to be children which is so important since it lasts for only what 16 years…maybe! Before real life and the world start creeping in. This was a phenomenal post.

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