Ok.
So I’m tall.
And I’m curly.
I tried to be short. Didn’t work.
Tried to have straight hair. Didn’t last.
Then I thought : “Hey! Let’s try something new and be myself!”
And that is : tall, and curly.
Some people think it’s nice to be tall. Some people think it’s nice to be curly. Some people would rather die than being one or the other. I simply have no choice, so I try to enjoy myself as much as possible. But some days… oh some days…
I have created this blog for those days when, if there was a vaccine against inches or curls, I would run to get an injection.
[UPDATE]
My story as a Tall N Curly person
I’ve received a few messages asking me if I keep my hair natural or not, if I have relaxed my hair before, and if I’m against relaxing.
I also got a comment on my Pinterest profile that made me realize some people might think that because I draw all these comics about being tall and curly, I hate being one or the other, or both.
Therefore I’ve decided to add some details in my about section so that everyone can understand my approach concerning my blog and comics.
The HAIR.
The comment on Pinterest said that I should enjoy my hair because kinks are in. In other words : that I should stop complaining about it. I must admit I didn’t really see the connection between kinks being in or not and the fact that curly/kinky hair is very difficult to manage and sometimes complicated to deal with.
I’ve been natural for over 10 years now. Before that, I’ve relaxed my hair for about 10 years. And before that, my hair was kept natural. The problem is, being multiracial and my mother being white, she just never could figure out what to do with my hair and didn’t teach me a single thing about it.
Things were okay until I was 9 because my hair was very long and I always wore one or two big braids. But one day my mom decided to cut it very short because she found it too difficult to wash, comb and style. A little girl screaming for two hours when you’re trying to detangle her hair can get really nerve-racking – I guess.
So I went from this :
To this :
Please notice the smile in the before pic, and the “WTF” look on my face in the second one. Ooooh was I happy.
And so from there on kids started to make fun of me because I looked like a poodle, a sheep, a boy, the Jacksons 5… name it.
I grew up thinking I had the worst hair in the world and didn’t know what to do with it besides buns or ponytails. But that was until I discovered blow-drying. Then I spent a few years straightening my hair every week, fighting against rain, snow, wind… But that was until I discovered relaxers. Then the real trouble began.
I had no idea know how relaxers worked, so I went to this afro hair salon. I’ll never know whether the hairdresser didn’t like me or if she had missed a class in hairdressing school, but she relaxed my hair from the roots to the ends everytime I went there, which means every two months for 2 years.
My hair is veeeery thick and strong and I think it’s the only reason I’m not bald today.
Anyhow, one day I mentioned it to a girlfriend – didn’t think of mentioning it before, I didn’t even know there was a problem. I only knew my hair looked like sh*t, was dry as the Sahara, and almost cut my cheeks at night because it was so hard. The only thing that mattered to me at that time was that it was straight and manageable.
So my friend looked at me with big eyes and told me it was a miracle I still had hair. I stopped going to the hair salon and started relaxing my roots myself.
I remember hating my hair at that time, but as I said, it was manageable. At least.
I used to look at straight haired girls, envying their hair. I wanted their hair, I used to think they were the lucky ones. Like if I was born missing a leg or something. I simply couldn’t see my hair like a strength, a quality, something nice that made me special. I only felt handicapped. I tried to convince myself that straightening my hair made me part of the straight haired girls gang, glamorous and all, when I actually looked more like an old and worn out broom.
I think I would have relaxed my hair all my life if, when going to college, I hadn’t found myself tired of focusing on my hair instead of on my studies.
I remember one day looking at myself in the mirror, my roots being 2 inches long. You know when you have this adorable palm tree look, with the hair going up a little bit before falling back down like polluted waterfalls. It was time to relax.
But it was winter, it was cold outside and snowing, and I just didn’t feel like going out of the house. I had homework to do – homework that I loved because it was drawing homework – so suddenly I thought “Oh screw it. Damn hair. Do whatever you want.” And so it started to grow.
Months later I had to cut the relaxed part of my hair. I ended up curled up in my bathroom crying because as I’m tall, the little fro I had around my head made me look like a giant microphone.
Still, I don’t know why, I chose not to go back to relaxing only to gain a few inches. I decided to wait. And my hair grew and grew and grew. I didn’t have a clue about how to comb it, style it, wash it or take care of it. I was a newbie. I was getting mad at it 99% of the time. I thought so many times going back to relaxing you have no idea (or you do ). But I did not. I’ve waited. I learned, and tried stuff. And like any curly girl, years later, I’m still learning and trying stuff. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes the hair will cooperate, sometimes it won’t.
The thing is, growing up, we all learn things about life, and the path I chose brought me closer to nature. Looking for the truth everywhere I now believe everything happens for a reason. And in “everything”, there is my hair. I was born with this hair. There must be a reason for that too. So although I still – and will always – get angry a lot at it, I now respect my hair for what it is : a part of me.
Actually it’s not that different from who I am. I’m pretty stubborn and rebellious too. What was I expecting from it ?
So to answer the question “Am I against relaxing?” I will say that I understand when girls with curly/kinky/nappy hair choose to relax it. I understand because it’s complicated and sometimes expensive to take care of this kind of hair. I don’t judge girls who relax their hair. It can turn out very pretty when it’s done right. So no, I’m not the naturalista-power-dictator kind of girl, no.
On the other hand, I find curly/kinky/nappy hair not only beautiful, I find it magical. This kind of hair is strong in essence. It’s the root. The origins of hair. It’s a force of nature. It looks like there are magical powers in it. There’s something magical about a woman who walks proudly in the street with this big, voluminous, “do-you-have-something-to-say?” hair. She walks on top of the world. She couldn’t care less about what people think or say. She couldn’t care less about what products or beauty ideal the magazines are trying to sell her. She’s not discreet. She does not hide. She is there. She IS. And to have the courage and the pride to BE who you are, under everybody else’s eyes, THAT’S magical.
I also tend to find that a curly girl is always prettier when she wears her hair curly. Simply because it’s her! Her true self! How could it be better than that? She can be pretty with her hair straightened too. I blow-dry my hair sometimes and I like the way it looks. But I always end up being in a hurry to go back to my curls, and right after I washed my hair, seeing my curls living again in the mirror gives me the feeling I’m back to my true self.
If a girl relaxes her hair, I will respect her choice. But if I see the tiniest shadow of a doubt in her attitude, the kind of “I’d like to go natural but I’m afraid of what other people may think” I’ll definitely encourage her to stop putting dangerous chemicals on her head and to walk the path to learning to love herself in spite of others’ opinion. And to walk that path, you have to learn to love or at least accept every single thing about yourself. The curls are often a big part of the journey.
So people, I LOVE my hair. Still I fight with it all the time, and that’s why I find it funny to draw some of these experiences because I know – I hope hahaha – I’m not the only one having to deal with all of this.
The HEIGHT.
I’m 6′. I used to hate being tall too. I went to the same school from age 6 to age 16, and during all the time I’ve spent there, the same kids who made fun of me because of my poodle haircut made fun of me because of my height. I can tell you it’s very difficult to love something about yourself when everyone has been telling you that you look ridiculous for over 10 years. I admit it, it took me ages to get over it.
I did model for 3 years or so, and it did help me accepting my height. I definitely wasn’t the tallest girl in the runway shows, and wearing heels seemed to be normal for all these giant beautiful girls so I started to think being tall wasn’t that of a curse. It still felt weird sometimes and I was having a hard time understanding what I was doing amongst the models, and I still had to work on myself a lot to stop focusing on what shorter people had to say about me all the time, but eventually it did help.
Some may think being a model should have cured everything instantly but it didn’t. My complexes were too deeply ingrained!
Another thing that helped me a lot is that my cousin is very tall too. She’s 6’3″ so we shared a lot of the tall girls problems and learned to laugh about it together.
The journey to accepting my height was pretty much the same as accepting my hair. One day I simply got sick of feeling bad about it. I decided that I came on Earth with these extra inches, so that I had to deal with it. There was reason for that too. I worked hard and had to hush my complexes, but today I feel great about my height and wouldn’t let go half of one of my inches. I wear heels, I walk with my head up, I’m proud.
Still, like for the hair, being tall can be REALLY challenging because you have to deal with other people’s remarks, questions, and sometimes stupid attitude. That’s what I like to share through my comics, because again, I know I’m not the only one going through this.
Lastly, the fact of being tall AND curly, let me tell yall, that’s something you better accept and love because otherwise, your life can be a hell of a nightmare. You simply CANNOT HIDE, no matter what you do, no matter where you go, no matter how hard you try. You are THERE. So yeah, some days you just feel like you could have used a little bit of invisibility, but in the end, all that matters is to feel great about yourself at least 99% of the time. That’s where I’m at, so I’m able to laugh about everything that makes a curly and/or tall girl’s life sometimes irritating, and so that’s how and why I draw my lil comics 🙂
Taquierra says
Evan if your really taller than me I can still understand. I’m 4’8 by the way turning 16 on March 15th. I get teased all the time for being short and it’s something I have to deal with because it is what it is. I don’t know what you look like in person but I believe you’re a beautiful women and everyone is beautiful in their own way. I have an aunt that’s 5’9/10 and she’s beautiful she’s more of a natural person and I feel that she’s should use what she has and be a model because if I was tall and skinny id’e rock the Modeling world! What i’m saying is when people ask if your a Model it’s a compliment!
Kelli says
You rock! I just found your blog and your cartoons had both me AND my hubby so tickled!
I love your work and your story. I think a lot of we curlies had some security issues growing up, but there’s so much magic in accepting and then loving who you were created to be!
I’m a dark ‘n curly, lol! Once I saw/realized the breathtaking beauty in my rich chocolate skin and the spirit of each of my bouncy curls, I was head over heels in love!
Keep up the awesome art so others can realize their magic powers too!
Namaste
-Kelli
Maya says
I’m 6’3″, natural and a freshman in college. I haven’t been one to get annoyed when people ask questions and make statements about my height until recently. Maybe it’s because I’m realizing that there is more to me than my height and hair, but that’s something I’ll figure out in time. I just wanted to say I love this blog, explains my life!
Nedra says
Wow! im 5’11 3/4″ and i totally get you!! Im also a new natural with 4a-4c hair….its refreshing to see this site!! Thank you!
tallncurly says
You’re welcome AND welcome Tall and Curly friend !! 😀
5’11 3/4 ?! HOW PRECISE IS THAT !! HAHAHAHA But I get it !! You are NOT 6′ !!! ;DDDD
Anonymous says
Im 6 feet tall and curly! I love it! I always wear 4 inch heels! Proud Tall curly over here!
tallncurly says
Welcome Tall N Curly friend !! 😀 6 feet tall with 4 inch heels?! You’re my hero !!! 😀 I don’t even think my feet are technically able to wear some of these ! I need to train them !!
Tiffany Kane Nelson says
Not tall, just extra curly. This is very well stated and funny too.
Ria the Curly says
I’m 5’9 and I had to get use to being tall, but I have to say going to college changed my mindset when a guy called me an Amazon. lol I never was called that I was usually called the Statue of Liberty, Giraffe, Big Ria, or whatever else you can think of. Although, she’s a fictional character, I look at Wonder Woman because she’s confident and sure with herself.
Curly Queen says
You’re a beautiful writer and I love your hair story.
tallncurly says
Thank you very much Curly Queen ^^ I love your alias !
Jiovani Chalis says
I totally understand I’m 5’11” and I was the tallest girl in my class until I got to middle school and then I was the second tallest!! It was hard growing up listening to the jokes. Even though my permed my hair it was still so thick that when I wore my hair in a ponytail it looked like a big poof ball. So I’ve heard it all and it just got to a point where they started to sound redundant and I accepted myself for who I was. I love being tall and curly( now that I’ve gone natural)!!
tallncurly says
Hi Jiovani !
Nice to meet you Tall N Curly fellow ! 🙂 I was the second tallest too but the tallest was a boy so… It didn’t help me much 😉
I’m wondering if I didn’t actually get “big poof ball” as a nickname once haha ;D
Well yeah… it all gets redundant at some point so the only solution is : freedom baby ! 😀